geranamo!

in light of the heaviness i've been feeling the past day or two - i thought i'd share a story that, amidst the painful news last night, made us laugh really hard. for any of you that have been around both my mother and i in the midst of a laughing fit - you know how ridiculous it can get. then, throw in my cousins adrienne, laura and my aunt kathy and you'll want to leave the room. it's funny how quickly laughter can begin... and end. but this is a story about it beginning.

so, my mom and i went to target last night because we needed to pick up a few things for amy. yes, amy - you are getting wonderful presents from target this year :) i also decided that instead of wrapping gifts, i was just going to buy a whole bunch of gift bags - practical, time efficient and reusable, right? around this time of year target is more nutso than usual, and as you venture to the "clearance" christmas section, the chaos mounts. so, as i'm standing in the bag aisle (it's crazy to me that they can fill an aisle with just bags)... i notice these light up/musical bags, score! as assumed, due to little children pushing the buttons on these bags (or maybe twenty-three year olds like myself), many of the bags were no longer music-producing, boo. but then, i noticed the perfect bag under about thirty others - it had penguins, lit up AND the music worked. as i carefully removed it from the pile, the other thirty bags on top of it decided they needed to go for a ride... and slowly but surely - they fell, more like "avalanched" unto the floor. normally, this wouldn't bother me and i'd laugh at it - but this time, there were about 5 people watching, one anticipating the fall and yelling "geranamo!" the other, watching, as she rolled her cart right on over the bags that just fell. two more were about a foot to my right and the other a few feet to the left. as i bent down to pick them up - guess how many helped? 0! as i reached down to pick them up - apparently they all decided that their "music" button worked and the asile was filling with "jingle bells" and flashing lights. after about five minutes, i went and found my mom. and the following conversation took place:

ash:"so, mom - i found this awesome bag and in the process knocked over 30 other ones... about five people saw it happen - and guess how many helped me pick them up? 0." (i've been very big on numbers lately)
man walks by, listening and laughs, shaking his head
mom: "why would they help?"
ashley: "oh, i don't know - because it's three days from christmas? and who wouldn't help?"
mom: "your sarcasm is a little loud and a little thick"
ashley: "really? i'm sorry. i just figured if you were close enough to say "geranamo" and close enough to wheel your cart over the bags, you were close enough to help me pick them up"
mom: "ahahahaha, someone said 'geranamo'?"
ashley: "oh yeah."
mom: (looking at christmas ornaments, holding in laughter)
ashley: (leaning on cart, looking around the store)
mom: (looks at ashley and bursts out laughing)
ashley: "oh yeah, i'm writing the blog in my head already"
mom: "i knew it!"

don't get me wrong. it's not as if i feel entitled to help from complete strangers... i was just really surprised that no one asked if i needed a hand. i've known a handful of people who don't like christmas because of the materialism that it brings. while i have understood that point, i've always been able to overlook it in the spirit of Christmas. but last night, i was one of those people.

today, with the snow outside, the tree up and the anticipation of giving my loved ones gifts, i'm feeling a little more like myself. but, as i look outside at the snow... the stillness of the cold - that sadness (i wrote about in a previous blog) creeps in. a mixture of hope and heaviness enters my heart... as i still wonder what it's all about.